Listening without hearing

Mars Lord

5th June 2017


  • Give one’s attention to a sound
  • Hear, pay attention, be attentive, attend, concentrate on, concentrate on hearing, give ear to, lend an ear to, hang on someone’s word, keep one’s ears open, prick up one’s ears


  • Perceive with the ear the sound made by (someone, something)
  • Perceive, catch, get, make out, take in, attend to, give ear to
  • Be told or informed of
  • To be informed, be told, find out, discover, learn, gather, glean, ascertain, get word, be made aware, be given to understand, hear tell, get wind, pick up


Refusal to hear

It’s hard to hold out hope for change when you begin the conversation and sit back hoping that reflection will start to take place. Then you discover that actually, instead of reflecting, people want the quick fix and have ignored everything that’s been said in place of their own agenda.

We have to take time to think as to why people listen, but don’t hear. Is it because they do not wish to put in the hard work and learn? Or is it because they can’t cope with someone else’s pain? When we talk about the pain and exclusion of people of colour, it’s a difficult conversation. Much easier to hide behind platitudes, smiles and shrugs than to face oneself and the emotional stuff you carry or believe about yourself.


“All great achievements require time.” – Maya Angelou

We are a self-protective species and change can be difficult, especially when it’s habits we have learned of old. We hope that a few policies will make the difference, but we do not care to make the personal change. Nor do we wish to converse with the ones who raised the issues with us.

We do not change the world like this.

As doulas we spend time with our clients. We listen to them and we hear what they say. We do not hold to our own agenda. We support them in their journey and walk along the path with them. How wonderful it would be if we were to each other, what we are, or aim to be, with our clients. Think how we might change the world.

Perhaps it is time to invest in yourself and to take part in the cultural competency workshop?

Do you want to be able to reach into your community as a birthkeeper? Are you ready for the privilege of being a woman’s doula? To be part of one of the most intimate moments of her life? Abuela Doulas is here for that very reason and we love women from all cultures. Contact us here and come join us, as we welcome new life into our world and let’s change it, one birth at a time.



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